


4,7 inches of fierceness

by Ivartheboneme



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Advanced sex toys, Fierce little Ivar, Language, POV First Person, Reader gets more than she bargained for when buying a new sex toy, Semi-sentient sex toys, Swearing, Vikings modern au, Witch Curses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-01-21 15:03:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12460245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivartheboneme/pseuds/Ivartheboneme
Summary: A couple of months ago, livebynight left a comment on one of my sub!Ivar pieces saying she just wanted to put him in her pocket. Then shit went down and here we are. I mean just look at those additional tags; aren't they gorgeous? And that's just for the first part.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [livebynight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/livebynight/gifts).



I shift from foot to foot while signing at the dotted line. The delivery man looks beyond bored as he glances at my signature, making the minimal effort to check if it matches my ID. He hands me the package then turns to leave without so much as a ‘good bye’. Not that I mind; I really want to be alone right now.

 

Lifting the lid, I nearly jump with excitement at the sight of him. Dark hair reaching down to his shoulders, 4,7 inches long. The only thing not matching the pictures from the website is his outfit. Rather than jeans and a t-shirt he’s in some sort of tunic and what looks to be leather pants; there’s even a sword hanging from his belt. Though the strangest thing about his appearance is the straps wrapped around his legs. I don't give it much of a thought; the straps are probably just there to protect the doll during transportation and honestly these clothes look more well-made. Digging through the box I find the accessories: hairbrush, bassinet and a coil of rope. My eyebrows rise towards my hairline; where’s the blanket? After a few more seconds of searching I find it tucked under his head like an improvised pillow. Something falls out of it as I unwrap it and the small item lands on the coffee table. An axe. Correction;  _ the cutest axe I’ve ever seen _ . Have I unknowingly ordered a limited edition? An exasperated voice somewhere in my head asks me if it really matters and I hurry to agree that it doesn’t; my babyboy is finally here. 

 

I adjust the box on my living room table, moving it a bit further away from the edge so that it won’t accidentally fall to the floor. A tall woman with her hair in a strict bun begins to speak on my TV.

_ “Hi, and welcome to the pocket-sized sub!Ivar introduction video. My name is Vanessa and I will show you how to care for your new companion.” _ She walks over to a bed where one of the dolls is already waiting, limp body resting on top of the cover, and sits down. The impeccably dressed woman smiles at the camera.

_ “Let’s start with the basics.” _ She proceeds to show how to activate him the first time and how to make him grow into life-size. I blush at the sight of him all grown and lazily nuzzling into her hand. Next she demonstrates the do’s and don’ts if one wants to avoid triggering the latent dominant side that all of the sub!Ivars have.

 

He’s shrunk back down to pocket-size and lies curled up under his blanket. Vanessa pets his hair one last time then steps in front of a table laden with handcuffs, gags and various other items.

_ “And remember; additional accessories-”  _ She gestures at the items  _ “can only be purchased from our website. We do not recommend using any form of counterfeit products on the pocket-sized sub!Ivar. Besides, isn’t he worth the money?” _ Vanessa shows two rows of teeth so white that I can’t stop myself from muttering ‘bleached’ under my breath.

_ “Any questions and complaints can be directed at our customer service. Good luck, and thank you for being a customer to Björgen International.” _

 

I put the blanket down in the bassinet, setting up a place for the little guy to rest on top of my bedside table; just the thought of watching him curled up in it is enough to make me squeal. I move him from the box and set him down on my bed.  _ Ok, here we go _ . My hands tremble and I make myself stop to take a deep breath before proceeding, remvoing the straps around his legs. Vanessa’s voice echoes in my head every step of the way. Make sure his head is elevated:  _ check _ . Gently open his mouth:  _ check and dear god his lips are so full _ . Empty the silvery liquid down his throat:  _ check _ . I hold my breath in anticipation. Eight agonizing seconds pass before he begins to move, his big blue eyes blinking as he slowly comes to. He stifles a yawn then finally seems to notice me; he freezes mid-movement.

“Hi, little guy.” I coo at him “I’m-” He moves at lightning speed, the tip of his sword suddenly aimed right at my face. I’m too shocked to move; this is  _ not _ what happened in the video. Ivar tilts his chin up, glaring at me defiantly.

“Away from me, jötunn!” He barks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I might have dipped into the ethics regarding AI and sentient / semi-sentient sex toys in this chapter.

I stare at him, eyes wide and unblinking.

“That’s not what you’re supposed to say.” I say stupidly. He uses his free hand to push himself into sitting upright, the sword dangerously close to my nose.

“What is this place, hmm?” He questions “Is it Jötunheimr? Or have you somehow made your way to the mortal realm?” Ivar shifts, moving so that he’s sitting sideways. He leans in closer, face scrunched up in fierce concentration, before barking out a command.

“Answer me, foul giantess!” Somewhere at the back of my head a voice screams that I need to put this obviously defective doll to sleep. I automatically reach for him but again he moves too quickly for me and the sword cuts along my thumb, making me screech in pain. Ivar cackles triumphantly at the sight of my blood.

“Hah! You have to be the weakest Jötunn ever to exist; no wonder you have been cast out.” The dull throbbing in my injured thumb is enough to jumpstart my mind and that’s when it hits me; he’ll never be able to get down from the bed. As I dart out of the bedroom and towards the living room, I hear him scream at me in a surprisingly deep voice. The box Ivar arrived in is still at the table, along with the pamphlet. My hands shake as I hold the phone to my ear. _Pick up, pick up, pick up_.

_“Thank you for calling Björgen International’s customer service. A lot of people are calling us right now and we have no available time slots today, please try again on Monday.”_ I close my eyes in defeat. Of course. Fucking holidays. Fucking 3 day weekends.

“Are you shitting me?!” I shout whisper to myself. Ending the call, I desperately type the address to their webpage in my browser and click my way to the FAQ, subsection defective dolls. The first two points are completely useless; he’s way too squirmy for me to put him to sleep and the customer service doesn’t have time to help. Now, the third point might actually be helpful.

_3\. Play along: If your doll behaves strangely, for example refuses to settle in either its dominant or in its submissive role, we recommend that you play along so as to not further agitate it. Don’t try to engage in any physical intimacy with it. Instead, bring it to the local Björgen store under the guise of going out for a walk_ _or going to buy snacks [...]_ That would have been a good plan, if it wasn’t for the fact that the store is closed for the fucking holidays.

_[...] Should the doll turn aggressive we ask that you please try to document it by recording a short movie before breaking it. This way, we have evidence of the faulty behaviour and can offer you compensation even though the doll is broken._ He threatened me with a sword, I think that counts as aggressive. And it was really sharp too. That settles it then; I film it and then I hope that I’ll be able to at least knock it unconscious. I push back the uneasy feeling that rises at the thought of hurting something so small and defenseless. It’s just a toy. Yes, but it’s made to be like a human. It’s not defenseless, it cut you! I make it to the bedroom, determined to get this over with. It has stopped screaming but there’s still some strange noise. The door is still open and I stop right outside to gather up all my willpower. That’s when I hear it, when I see it. He’s sniffling, carefully patting up and down the length of his legs as if he’s looking for something. It’s clear that he’s in pain. And just like that, I deflate. All anger and determination washes away and I’m disgusted with myself for ever thinking of hurting him. I can put up with him, I tell myself. I can wait until Monday. He’s so small, it’s not like he can do any real damage. As soon as I step inside he hurries to school his features and one tiny hand grips at the sword. My hands go up in what is hopefully a calming gesture.

“I just want to talk.” He huffs but doesn’t motion to attack me again as I sit down next to him on the bed. Play along, that’s what I need to do.

“Who are you?” I ask, trying my hardest to sound polite even though my thumb still hurts. Ivar clutches at the bedspread with his free hand. 

“I am a prince, true heir to the great Ragnar Lothbrok, and I demand your service, jötunn wench.” My jaw slams shut and I count to three before speaking through gritted teeth.

“Wench?” Again, Ivar huffs.

“It is your duty as my royal subject.” I bite my tongue. Just play along, if he calms down enough you might be able to put him to sleep.

“And what’s your name, prince?” He glares at me like I’m an idiot, then puffs his chest.

“Ivar-” He begins proudly, then pauses before adding in a much lower voice “-Ivar the Boneless.” It does sound familiar but I can’t really place it; my history lessons were usually a snooze fest so I’m not even sure if it’s a real person or just some fictional character. 

“Why am I in your home?” He asks. I pluck at the bedspread, avoiding his eerily blue eyes.

“Because, um, because I bought you.”

“Like some thrall?!” I hesitate on how to answer that. They’re not meant to be entirely like humans, just have enough of a personality so that they can be interacted with. Like a really advanced robot. This one is clearly in a league of his own when it comes to personality. Realizing that there’s no way I can answer his question with a simple yes or no, I decide to give him the long version.

“Some woman named Hedda Björgen started this company called-” I begin only for Ivar to cut me off with a shriek.

“Hedda Björnsdottír?” This conversation is just growing stranger by the second.

“I’m pretty sure it’s just Björg-”

“How old is she?” Ivar interrupts yet again. Hell if I know; looking up the creator’s age isn’t usually part of the research I do before buying a toy.

“Maybe in her late thirties,” Ivar raises his brows, silently urging me to continue “brown, curly hair. Tall.” I shrug my shoulders; that’s really all that I know about the founder of Björgen International. It seems to be enough for Ivar. He sits completely still and I nearly sigh with relief, thinking that he’s settled down. Then he thumps one fist against the bedspread.

“That witch! She trapped me!”

**Author's Note:**

> Jötunn - Giant


End file.
